As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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