I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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