Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
