Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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