I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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