found the other keg... it's in the tree
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we're making bets on your personal life
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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