Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
