I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
