Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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