You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
