Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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