you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
