I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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