Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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