today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
