cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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