Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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