stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize