We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
