K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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