i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
