Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
