Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
