i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
