She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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