i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
