The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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