Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
