I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
