You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
