I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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