It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
