Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize