Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
