are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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