He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
