Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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