so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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