I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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