Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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