how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize