bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
