I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
