you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
