i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
