He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
