Ambien. No doubt about it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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