How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
