Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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