well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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