Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
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It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
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We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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