ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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