This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
