I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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