Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
