I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
