Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
