HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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