It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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