if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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