quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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