I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize