If that was your dad, he is hot
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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